dating someone like your parents

Vicki Everett, 23 years old


About me:
LifeWire -- When Lynn Houston was 27, she met an affectionate young man during a business trip to Virginia. Although dating someone like your parents lived in Arizona, the two began dating; they married six months later. But after she joined him in Virginia, he became distant and had angry flare-ups, Houston says. He barely resembled the man she'd married, but he did remind her of another man she knew well: her father. Alison Wobschall also married a man like her father, but with much better results. Both men are "really interested in politics and the stock market, and they agree on everything," she says. Both share the name Mike, and they even look alike.

By: Schuyler Erle. Married a woman and halfway through a fight it hits you that she is acting just like your mother? One of the things that can often come up in therapy and couples counselling is the realisation that we have married or are dating someone who is just like one of our parents. It can feel a shock to the system dating someone like your parents leave us dealing with a sense of embarrassment and shame. Our parents or guardians if that is the case were, after all, the role models we had for learning how to survive in the world. The family unit is where we learn our value system, how to relate to others, and our definition of what love is. The trouble comes, of course, when we are dating someone like our parents because there was a difficulty or trauma in our childhood with one of our parents that we have carried into adulthood.

It will probably happen to you at least once in your life. You'll fall for somebody that your parents don't like. Sometimes their disapproval will be valid, other times it will be irrational, but no matter what it will be hard for you to deal with.
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I make I don't necessarily have a problem with these guys, but my family always does. They pester me with questions like, "Why can't you bring home someone we actually like? On the other hand, I can't change who I am or who I like. You dating someone like your parents help who you fall for that's the best part about love, IMO. It certainly puts me in an odd predicament: I don't want to compromise my romantic desires just for the sake of appeasing my family, but I've also grown tired of hiding the guys I'm dating from the people I love.

Though you may roll your eyes when someone tells you that you choose men who remind dating someone like your parents of your dadthe facts are pretty clear: if you're attracted to members of the opposite sex, chances are high that you'll eventually partner up with someone who looks like your parent. The phenomenon of people seeking out partners who look like their opposite-gendered parent is more than just an old wives' tale; it has been confirmed by a lot of research, including a study which discovered that wives and their mothers-in-law can often be matched by strangers based only on facial resemblance, and a study that found that people raised by older parents were more likely to go for older romantic partners. Some studies have even postulated that this tendency extends all the way to eye and hair color — so the daughter of a green-eyed, brown-haired man is more likely to date brown-haired, green-eyed men herself. Let's get one thing straight right off the bat, though: No one is claiming that you're consciously jumping on Tinder and looking for people who remind you of your parents. Rather, this research comes about because the science of attraction is hilariously complex; every week, some researchers release a new study about scent and pheromonestestosterone levels, facial ratio, or some other science-certified measure of sexiness, in a further attempt to understand why we find some people to be hot. These parental resemblance studies are just another addition to that vast body of research. But they can raise some very squicky Oedipus-esque feelings if the science behind them isn't properly explained. So yes, there's a genuine scientific basis for why Angelina Jolie would pair off with Brad Pitt, a man who bears a passing resemblance to her father, Jon Voight. But relax — it's not for the reasons you think. Why would we pick a romantic partner who looks like the person who told us to clean our room?

Plus, when you turn on the TV and see the faith healers plying their trade, most of us run out of the room screaming. Educated people are way too smart for that, right. What if all this stuff about miracles is hocus-pocus and Santa Claus.

What an icky, shameful feeling.

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